Things not to feel ashamed about
- Don’t feel ashamed about never wanting to have sex, barely wanting to, wanting to a couple times a year, month, week. Don’t feel ashamed for wanting to have sex to the degree that you do or don’t want to, period.
- About having blemishes on your skin. All this means is that your body is in a constant stage of flux- let it do its thing. Do we blame the sky for showing its stars at night?
- About spending money on yourself especially if it enhances your enjoyment, sense of self, or life in any way. Think of it as an investment in yourself.
- About sleeping in until noon sometimes. At times our bodies, brains, and souls need some extra rest- grant them what they’re longing for.
- About cutting someone toxic out of your life or letting someone who once hurt you back into your life. Take others opinions on the situation with a grain of salt and let yourself be the judge.
- About changing your career multiple times, your major, your direction, your passions, your mind. Human beings are meant to evolve and vary over time. Embrace that.
- About missing a workout or exercise routine. Or two. Or maybe even more. Yes, it’s great to move your body but sometimes other things in life come up like family, friends, work, or being ill. Attend to them.
- About fucking up or hurting someone. Your shame doesn’t serve either of you and may even prevent you from delivering the type of apology that would be beneficial. It may make it more difficult for you both to reach the type of closure that allows everyone to move on from the situation.
- About eating that extra slice of pizza- it takes consuming five hundred extra calories per day for a week straight to gain one pound. And even if you were to gain that pound, you are not losing anything by gaining.
- About having days that are sub par. Inconsolable days where grief guts you whole. Days where you feel like throwing a middle finger up to the world and shoving your frustration into its face. Days where getting out of bed seems more taxing than climbing Mt. Everest. Days that are just plain weird. You are a human being, not a robot. Robots are boring.
- About having past trauma. About having trauma that seems less or more traumatic than someone elses. Everyone has trauma in some shape or form, to some degree. Your trauma is not less or more important than anybody elses- it’s just different.
- About wanting to pursue a career path completely different to other members of your family, even if they believe you’d be better off doing something more similar. You know yourself, your talents, and where your heart lays better than anyone. Take that and run.
- Men, this one doesn’t apply to you. Women- your period. Almost all other situations that involve blood (besides childbirth) are associated with injury and violence. Isn’t it unique that this form of bleeding represents a time where a powerful part of our body literally sheds and repairs itself once a month, rebuilding the 9 month home for new life should you choose to welcome it? Why is this something that society has a hush-hush policy about?
- About dancing, singing, or doing whatever you want to do in the shower. Your body is the only thing that will be with you your whole life. Why not enjoy it?
- About making your own list, even if others may believe you should feel guilty for the items you’ve chosen. You have the right to compose your own book of guidelines- don’t let others steal the pen.
Emma Butterfield
Administrator
•Portland based ecstatic dancer and yogi with a quirky sense of humor who loves the outdoors most of the time • Creative Nonfiction and Poetry• Healing backwards and forwards in time• ~My writing is something I pour my heart and energy into. Please keep this in mind and do not share without asking permission.~
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