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Author: Emma Butterfield

Painting myself, my way

I long for a day where I can lay on my back without feeling the need to guard my center, the area where innocence was taken in a moment that came and went faster than the speed of light yet seemed like an eternity while it was happening, if only I were believed. “Cheater”, “crazy”,…
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C-PTSD Recovery and Affirmation Belly Breathing

Hello everyone, I know it’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted last. Life has been busy on my end but it feels really good to be back to posting again! Thanks for sticking around since I last posted! I’m going to turn this more into a blog where I post about what has been…
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The warmth of the toasty fire

my father lovingly prepared hugs my body as soothing music by Passenger streams gently into my ears. I can hear my mother preparing pasta and chopping vegetables for a fresh dinner salad in the background as my eyes rest upon the roses and delicate white flowers my father gifted us girls. Ollie and Ozzy start to…
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Nursing Contentment

As I lay in bed after a romantic dinner next to sleeping Danny, his soft hand in mine,  I nurse lemon ginger CBD seltzer in my belly and my aromatherapy diffuser slowly spreads the Love essential oil mix from Muji into the air of my small studio apartment. A sense of contentedness washes over my…
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Cherry

I was going to watch in awe as you transformed from a small, delicate little snake into a gentle giant almost as tall as me. I was ready to watch you grow, to support your well being and development. It would’ve been such a journey to see your metamorphosis Cherry, and I was ready to…
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Thanks to them

Thanks to them, tears plummet down my cheeks sometimes after Danny treats me well because  I often don’t believe I deserve it. Thanks to them, I question whether it was my fault when they chose that their sense of “power” was more important than my security my safety and my stability. Thanks to them, I…
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Portland’s people

The man slurping almond milk out of a hole in the carton he’s created. The satisfied look on his face as he swallows the silky goodness back, its creaminess coating his thankful throat. The Pendleton contact center supervisor and her purple fingernails click-clicking away at her keyboard as she briefly adjusts the black eye glasses…
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Too much of a good thing

The moon gazed at her through the window, propelling her into a world where even the most mundane seemed full of wonder, its luminescence allowing her to notice the life on the windows surface. A small, wet frog hopped across, leaving water prints of its body behind. Seeing him compelled her to explore the nearby…
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I kept looking back into the bowl

to see if she was in fact dead. To see if somehow, there was someway she had just been resting for an extended period of time only to awake to her usual swimmy, rose- colored self within a matter of minutes. I only had Hummy for a month but somehow it’s been harder to let…
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When all hell breaks loose

When all hell breaks loose,  and each Angel can be found  with bloody knees foaming at the mouth  with emerald envy… I will stop.  Because all I feel compelled  to do right now  is continue to release  and relinquish all this burden  he has placed upon me,  the birds that feasted on my heart flying…
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